ThE PoWeR Of LoVe

The power of love

Love is as critical for your mind and body as oxygen. It's not negotiable. The more connected you are, the healthier you will be both physically and emotionally. The less connected you are, the more you are at risk.
It is also true that the less love you have, the more depression you are likely to experience in your life. Love is probably the best antidepressant there is because one of the most common sources of depression is feeling unloved. Most depressed people don't love themselves and they do not feel loved by others. They also are very self-focused, making them less attractive to others and depriving them of opportunities to learn the skills of love.

There is a mythology in our culture that love just happens. As a result, the depressed often sit around passively waiting for someone to love them. But love doesn't work that way. To get love and keep love you have to go out and be active and learn a variety of specific skills.
Most of us get our ideas of love from popular culture. We come to believe that love is something that sweeps us off our feet. But the pop-culture ideal of love consists of unrealistic images created for entertainment, which is one reason so many of us are set up to be depressed. It's part of our national vulnerability, like eating junk food, constantly stimulated by images of instant gratification. We think it is love when it's simply distraction and infatuation.

One consequence is that when we hit real love we become upset and disappointed because there are many things that do not fit the cultural ideal. Some of us get demanding and controlling, wanting someone else to do what we think our ideal of romance should be, without realizing our ideal is misplaced.
It is not only possible but necessary to change one's approach to love to ward off depression. Follow these action strategies to get more of what you want out of life—to love and be loved.

· Recognize the difference between limerance and love. Limerance is the psychological state of deep infatuation. It feels good but rarely lasts. Limerance is that first stage of mad attraction whereby all the hormonesare flowing and things feel so right. Limerance lasts, on average, six months. It can progress to love. Love mostly starts out as limerance, but limerance doesn't always evolve into love.
· Know that love is a learned skill, not something that comes from hormones or emotion particularly. Erich Fromm called it "an act of will." If you don't learn the skills of love you virtually guarantee that you will be depressed, not only because you will not be connected enough but because you will have many failure experiences.
· Learn good communication skills. They are a means by which you develop trust and intensify connection. The more you can communicate the less depressed you will be because you will feel known and understood.

There are always core differences between two people, no matter how good or close you are, and if the relationship is going right those differences surface. The issue then is to identify the differences and negotiate them so that they don't distance you or kill the relationship.
You do that by understanding where the other person is coming from, who that person is, and by being able to represent yourself. When the differences are known you must be able to negotiate and compromise on them until you find a common ground that works for both.
· Focus on the other person. Rather than focus on what you are getting and how you are being treated, read your partner's need. What does this person really need for his/her own well-being? This is a very tough skill for people to learn in our narcissistic culture. Of course, you don't lose yourself in the process; you make sure you're also doing enough self-care.
· Help someone else. Depression keeps people so focused on themselves they don't get outside themselves enough to be able to learn to love. The more you can focus on others and learn to respond and meet their needs, the better you are going to do in love.
· Develop the ability to accommodate simultaneous reality. The loved one's reality is as important as your own, and you need to be as aware of it as of your own. What are they really saying, what are they really needing? Depressed people think the only reality is their own depressed reality.
· Actively dispute your internal messages of inadequacy. Sensitivity to rejection is a cardinal feature of depression. As a consequence of low self-esteem every relationship blip is interpreted far too personally as evidence of inadequacy. Quick to feel rejected by a partner, you then believe it is the treatment you fundamentally deserve. But the rejection really originates in you, and the feelings of inadequacy are the depression speaking.
Recognize that the internal voice is strong but it's not real. Talk back to it. "I'm not really being rejected, this isn't really evidence of inadequacy. I made a mistake." Or "this isn't about me, this is something I just didn't know how to do and now I'll learn." When you reframe the situation to something more adequate, you can act again in an effective way and you can find and keep the love that you need.

True LOVE / CiNTa SeJaTI

Many people are asking for true love, there is such a thing, if so, what is it? It can be achieved, if so, how attainable? If it was only love, I would not have so much trouble. But the true love?

Speaking of true love is risky. I can imagine taking a poll to go around asking who is looking for true love, which will look for it, and a lot of different answers and I do not know. ” Given the subjective nature, it can run everything on one interpretation or experience. A surprising number of questions seem to have ever raised.

Let’s define what we are talking about when we say ‘true love’ does not refer to how a parent can feel for their child or children to parents, siblings. Connotation of true love is more traditional tendency for at least one emotionally intimate relationship that will last a lifetime. It can be platonic, can the sexual. But for the purposes of this discussion, we will first examine what is necessary for basic elements of true love and true love, sexual intimacy are common.
As we continue the debate about what true love is more, we will see that a number of issues are raised.
It is true, love, love at first sight? Or read the full report?

True love can and often starts in the first session, when two people meet for the first time. However, the spontaneous, eye-to-eye spark, when time is compressed when a sudden uncontrolled movement, more often, before speaking in movies, very rare in reality.
After “… at first sight”, which is two people, at the appropriate time to talk to each other. Until then, you get to see how they feel to be together. This spark is turned on or is broken, depending on how it feels to be together, which is largely determined by the quality of their relationships. The high degree of higher and higher to the lowest in the blink of an eye.
It is possible that if there is a relationship, a kind of mutual discovery occurs, as (being together a lot), which, like all the other (much) that have this incredible chemistry, more than anything to communicate to you, and that makes them even more. They can be very excited by their relationship, but if the attraction, lust and sex comes into the picture, her enthusiasm is another highlight.
Is true love a matter of luck or something, which was destined to be “?
If it’s not a question of luck or fate together in the end, there is a high probability that an initial report. There is no happiness if conscious deliberate intention to take action. It does not happen. Two people make it happen.
Rapport is a creation of a joint effort – two people who are united in the goal of a high value on knowing what the other thinks and feels and wants to connect deeply in touch and do.
In one respect, it is a bridge of experience, an understanding is reached. Let’s establish a basis of true love to be able to say how, “We understand each other, which often begins in the first session.
Along with the ability to achieve a deep mutual understanding and treatment of a variety of other pleasant surprises. If we each other’s eyes and communicate on a deep level, raises the feeling of knowing each other, the level of tension. “We know how to do no other.”
For some, the experience can be totally open, free and can be understood is the highest of all levels.
How long does the true love last? Does it fade over time?
E ‘reasonable to assume that if they have once they could do it again. However, there are no guarantees. What makes reality is that true love will continue to communicate until both people are in a position to continue to work closely with. You can at every encounter as a relationship to go in themselves, independently of the others. You may also feel that if there is consistency over time, the continuity of their relationship to deepen, strengthen their common bonds.

It’s true the same as “in love? Love being with that someone out? As the number one? Being turned on? After good sex?
How does it feel? It is a commonplace is high or better? Is there any merit or just a range of emotions?
It is a long plateau of satisfaction firm, as “Happy Ever After?” Or it is an endless journey full of deeper relationship that threaten the challenges?

In response to the above questions are some important distinctions need to be made, starting with the true love versus “in love.” Being in love is an altered state of mind. This is a peak experience – exciting intense … and transient, the amount is too high, running on adrenaline.
As ‘in love’, two people can feel very turned on each other, but how deep they are is another matter. Can glossy and determined on each other while they are in love, forgetting that they are looking each other through the lens of idealization and are often frustrated and overwhelmed when reality sets in, they expect, assuming or hoping that their altered state of mind last indefinitely. You probably do not have the experience in their intimate relationships, the real does not exist or has not been reached and / or not by negative feelings, conflicts or differences tell has been questioned. And “likely that they will bask in the false security of their distorted perceptions.
Another important distinction is the true love and good sex.
The confusion is in the words often used to describe clearly our sexual encounters. Intimacy “We were close.” “We have love.” Physical or sexual violence is a synonym for true love or emotional intimacy. A common mistake when there is attraction, desire, good sex, etc., more of a relationship, do not bring to it.
Given this confusion, it is safer and more accurate than not equate true love, or, for that matter, does not equate emotional intimacy with the charm, lust and sex, and on the two. Even the great sex in no way guaranteed, emotional intimacy, or a great relationship. The two are separate entities and there is no correlation between them.
One reason for this confusion is that the emotional openness and sharing are considerably harder than the excitement, pleasure and sex with related help. Again, it is a case of false security.

True love will depend on prevailing conditions and circumstances at a given moment in time, a matter of the right time and place?
If it meets the conditions and circumstances favorable to the true love one can consider that they contextually based reports. There are a variety of situations that fall into this category. One is when two people meet while traveling away from home, outside of their usual reality. Another reason is the work are related. There are a large number of jobs that employees, has an intimate knowledge of each other, and the endless possibilities of money to the respect and trust. In the military, for example, soldiers live and train together for months, sometimes years, and must rely on each other in battle. Police and fire departments also spend a lot of time together and are interdependent. The players travel the whole spectrum of emotions, revealed their souls to each other. And people who have had an extreme experience together, that is, a natural disaster or a terrorist attack, of course, your understanding and support from the only one who had lived the same experience.
In contrast, a natural environment is still in the natural course of life, regardless of an imposed structure, when you need to build rapport solely rely on each other and maintain.
In these situations it is customary to investigate whether they are capable of sustained intimacy, whether their relationship outside of the context in which their relationship has grown work can be continued in a natural environment. Sometimes he does and sometimes not. When the relationship works in both settings may be more inclined to use love to describe their true relationship.
Furthermore, if sex takes the stage, a number of other dynamics that come into the scene. An intimate platonic relationship is not necessarily in the sexual intimacy.

When it comes to true love, intimacy is the operative phrase, is the true love with true intimacy interchangeable.
While intimacy is the operative phrase, the true love and a bond that goes beyond intimacy. One could say: “I take on all cylinders.”